Tag Archives: motherhood

Little Girls, Little Girls

hannigan11I am not sure what went wrong, but I have a feeling it started with toast. Yesterday was not a good day. On Thursdays, we have to get up and at ’em bright and early in order to make it to my daughter’s dance class. I was too busy barking orders and preparing a good breakfast for my girls to make myself anything more than a pitiful slice of toast. I had to take my coffee with me in a thermos to run a million errands while my daughter danced, I found out we need to spend more money on new tights and buy tickets for her first ballet recital in addition to the money we’re already paying for her class and her recital costume. Plus pictures are extra, of course. Ugh.

By the end of an exceptionally long day alone with the kids, I felt like Miss Hannigan from the musical, “Annie”. I was even singing her song “Little Girls” in my head…

“Little girls,
Little girls.
Night and day
I eat, sleep, and breathe them.”

After hubby came home from work, I went upstairs to change the bedsheets (okay, honestly, I went to our room just to be alone) and all I saw was an overwhelming mess that screamed “mother of little girls”. Whether it was the laundry piled high (both clean and dirty), the random toys that made it into our room, or the forgotten books strewn here and there, or the millions of plastic ball pit balls, I just couldn’t take it anymore! As I cleaned, I thought,

“I’d have cracked
Years ago
If it weren’t for my
Sense of humor”

But oddly enough, I wasn’t finding anything humorous about this messy situation. So maybe I’d already cracked.

Mess=Stress.

My family eventually found me upstairs and hubby helped me clean some things up. I put away the laundry and I returned all the girls’ toys to their rooms (Except those darn, ubiquitous ball pit balls. Those are going straight to the yard sale pile.). I love my kids, but I don’t want their mess to follow me to every room of the house. Something has to be off limits, right?

Sometimes, I miss myself, who I used to be before I had kids. I don’t have time to think, I can’t formulate a coherent thought most of the time because there’s endless chatter/responsibilities/background noise from cartoons, something, All. The. Time. I need peace and quiet periodically, even if it’s just a few minutes in a room with no toys and no laundry to fret over. I’ve given my kids everything I have (I even share my chocolate now!), but they can’t have my room.

Do you have a clean, quiet place to decompress?

A Work In Progress

Start on January 1

New Year’s, bah humbug! I hope you find joy and and excitement in starting fresh…while I’m over here still working on my resolution from 3 years ago-to be more patient with my daughter. Ha! If anything, my patience has worn thinner. I think perhaps the addition of a second child did nothing to achieve the Mother Theresa-like patience I had originally hoped for. And come to think of it, I think I still have an unachieved resolution from my teen years to lose weight…hmm…I’m definitely not the lithe, Barbie-like figure I had hoped to be by now.

I have always hated making New Year’s resolutions…maybe I’m just an underachiever, but I really don’t see the point. Statistics show most people don’t keep their resolutions longer than, what, a week? Maybe a month? Don’t let me bring you down-if you’re truly determined, you can do it! But don’t make a resolution just for the heck of it. You have to be tenacious and work at it. It may not happen in a week, a month, or even a year. I’m sorry to say, I will probably always have a temper and be short of patience. Hopefully, I’ll improve with time, but it won’t be overnight.

I don’t know about you, but I’m daily aware of my shortcomings. Whether it be my appearance, my figure, my parenting, my characteristics, or any number of things…I know where I am lacking and I prefer not to dwell on it. It’s a daily struggle for me to be kind, patient and loving, not to overindulge, to be hardworking, and make healthy choices. Next New Year’s Eve, I don’t want to look back on my 2016 self with even more self loathing than I’ve mustered thus far in life, just because I didn’t achieve a resolution to my satisfaction. I’m not saying I won’t continue to try and lose a couple pounds or to be more patient with my daughter(s)…on the contrary, I strive towards those achievements every day.

Don’t beat yourself up, now or next year…do the best you can, taking it a day at a time, whether it is New Year’s Eve or not. We’re all a work in progress. 🙂

What’s your take on resolutions? Did you make one this year?

My (Revised) To Do List for Today

My Revised To Do List For Today

My revised To do list for today

My Revised To Do List Today:

  1. Clean kitchen Gaze at my children’s sweet perfect faces.
  2. Pick up the living room Listen to my girl’s imaginative stories and swim in the pretend swimming pool she made on the floor out of packing supplies.
  3. Make dinner Appreciate the humor in daily life-wherever you can find it! Sometimes this includes what happens when your toddler tries to ‘help’ you and all your ingredients go flying…
  4. Strip the sheets  Enjoy watching my kids play, dance, and laugh.
  5. Make produce run Listen to the delightful concert coming from the backseat.
  6. Wash the floor  Remember that dinnertime is soon and the little one will just dump whatever she is eating on the floor again anyway so ya might as well forget it.
  7. Vacuum Appreciate the moment of peace and quiet…when you have kids, the roar of a vacuum drowns out all the crying and arguing, so make sure you get every speck of dirt and dust out of that carpet!
  8. Sit down and take a break. No strikethrough here-just stop for a minute!

Moms work hard; we all know that. But I often get so caught up in all the things I need to get done, and I forget to appreciate those sweet little giggles, the 3 year old humor, and the cuddly, sweet baby who just loves her momma. Sure, I would love to accomplish everything on my to do list once in awhile, but realistically it’s probably not gonna happen. Not now, while the kids are small. Not now while they need me every minute of every day. I am only one person- I am not required to do and be everything. I just need to be my girls’ mommy (and their daddy’s wife- but that’s a post for another day!) and love them like no one else.

My to do list will be there tomorrow, but my girls are getting bigger every day and soon enough, they will no longer cling to me when they fall. They won’t look to me to solve their problems (And who knows what solutions they might come up with on their own…!!). They won’t think I know everything there is to know, so they won’t bother to ask, “Why?” incessantly, and I won’t be able to guide them the way I can now, while they’re still young and impressionable.

It’s okay to put some things off until tomorrow. But not the most important ones.

 

My wise friend told me, “You never know the last time your child will do something…whether it’s holding your hand, or sitting on your lap…There will be a last time, and you won’t know when that last time is until it’s already come and gone.”. So stop and smell your children…Wait- that may not be something you want to do, especially if they’re still in diapers, haha! But be still for a moment and look at your kids; look at their sweet faces, and their sweet innocent spirits and appreciate the gift you’ve been given.