Tag Archives: love

Encouragement For When Loving Others Isn’t Easy

Encouragement for when loving others isn't easy

Encouragement for when loving others isn't easyLoving others isn’t always easy.

That’s probably not a new revelation to you, but it is a truth that seems to be hitting home to me more than ever.

When someone is rude, hurts your feelings, or disappoints you, it is hard to continue loving that person.

Sometimes people let you down in a big way, leaving a giant ache in your heart. But even small things can come between you and loving others the way you should…

Sometimes I feel like writing off the friend who’s always too busy, or the one who chronically forgets to text back. Or the self-centered person you always check in on, but forgets to inquire how you’re doing.

When I’ve been hurt by someone’s actions, I can be tempted to rationalize that this now gives me reason to forget them and move on. You tell yourself, you never really cared much for them in the first place, did you?

But life gets lonely when you stop caring. And frankly, it’s a waste of your time. What makes our lives worthwhile if not showing love to others? Even when you think they don’t deserve it? We don’t deserve God’s love, but He freely gives it to us anyway.

We all have shortcomings and should cut each other some slack. Usually, it’s not you; it’s them. Seriously! I’m trying to say, don’t take things personally – we all have our own demons to fight. When you notice a friend’s flaw, don’t hold it against them. Use it to gain a better understanding of what goes on in their mind. Use it to help them understand issues going on in their life as a result.

In other words, be a friend.

I’ve observed that when people hurt you, when you don’t receive the affection or response you expected, you might think it’s easier to hold a grudge. Get mad at that person and hate their guts instead. It hurts less.

Except it doesn’t hurt less.

Sometimes, to avoid feeling hurt, I chose what I tell myself is a righteous anger. Someone injured my feelings, so I will just be mad at their stupid, inferior personality. At least I don’t do that, I think to myself! Hmph.

Don't be like this person; loving others isn't always easy, but it's always worth it.
Don’t be like this! Lol… Loving others isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it.

Except that I forget we all have flaws, and I’m pretty sure I’ve hurt others too. No one ever gave me a medal for friend of the year!

So at least when you’re hurt, you can cry.  You’ll feel somewhat better afterward! But when you’re angry….do you punch a wall and feel better? Kick your cat? Yell at your kids? None of those things will help.

Anger grows and grows.

But God is with you in the sadness.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

Embrace the sadness and move on. Don’t find reasons to hate or hold grudges. Choose to love and forgive. Don’t pretend like you never cared for the person who hurt you.

“Above all, keep loving each other earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”

Peter 4:8

My friend is moving this week, and it may as well be the other side of the world. Only a very long drive or an expensive flight could take me there. No more chats over coffee, no more playdates.

One of the hardest things about this for me (besides seeing my daughter lose yet another friend) is starting over. Cultivating new friendships takes time. Part of me is too tired to try again, but I have a lifetime of friendships ahead of me that will likely come and go.

Looking on the bright side, I now have a little extra time to show kindness and love to new friends!

Here’s what I’ve learned about love and friendship in my several decades of life:

  • You can’t give up on making friends because you always seem to drift apart one way or another, and you get tired of starting over.
  • You can’t stop trusting people because someone let you down.
  • You can’t get tired of feeling like the friend who always puts forth more effort.
  • You can’t retreat from the world when people and relationships in general are just plain old difficult.
  • You can’t expect others to read your mind, and respond in the exact manner you need.
  • You can’t expect others to act in a way that doesn’t come naturally to them. Everyone is a work in progress. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.
  • Loving isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it.

It isn’t always easy to choose love over hate, but it makes your life feel a lot fuller.

Loving others, even when it hurts too much, is always worth the pain.

God commands us to love one another, even as He loves us. (John 15:12)

God’s grace is a gift to us (Eph. 2:8)…let’s pass it on.

Love is patient, love is kind...loving isn't always easy.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

On this day, I think back to four years ago, when, unbeknownst to me, my first child was about to come into the world 3 days early! Oh, the things I did not yet know…The last four years have been challenging, but also the ones filled with the most love.

Having a baby so close to Valentine’s Day was not a well thought out plan- it is hard for me to make a big deal out of Valentine’s Day, when I am knee deep in themed party planning! I tell myself it will get easier in years to come, and I don’t beat myself up for failing to be the Pinterest-y Valentine mom I aspire to be…

My nearly four year old got a little baggie of chocolates, and so did my hubby. His was bigger, and filled with his favorite, as well as some love notes tucked inside. Both bags were recycled from my daughter’s dance class Valentine’s treats that were handed out this week. I’m all about saving the earth….and convenience! My little one just got 3 dark chocolates…and cried for more.

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I am trying to teach my four year old to be thoughtful, loving, and generous. So we wrapped up some chocolates in tulle and tied it to look like a candy. She picked out a friend at church to give it to this morning.

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Last night we were invited to a friends’ house…so I made this yummy cheesecake mousse for us to snack on. I was nervous about whipping the cream correctly, but it turned out to be a piece of cake! (Not literally, of course, ha!)

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My mom sent the girls some crafting supplies to make Valentine’s cards. The girls crafted for 2 hours the other day! They made some wonderful creations…I was impressed that my one year old suddenly got the hang of Elmer’s glue. Proud mommy moment, when she added a perfectly adequate sized drop of glue and stuck a heart on top. And another. And another. And another. The girl went crazy with heart cutouts! And stickers. And some pom poms when she used up all the Valentine themed items my mom sent. Little one’s is on the left, my oldest’s is pictured on right. They are cards for Daddy.

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For Valentine’s Day, I got a card and m&m’s in the mail from my mom, and hubby gave me a new pair of earrings. I told him all I really wanted was for him to do the dishes and the laundry, but would accept the earrings instead.

I hope you all have enjoyed your Valentine’s Day, and thank you for listening to a lonely wife ramble! I feel blessed to have spent a relaxing afternoon by myself while little one napped and oldest one watched a movie in the basement. Mostly feeling blessed because for once, a romantic chick flick was on, instead of the endless droning of sports! Haha!

Now I’m off to make a heart shaped Valentine’s pizza with my girl…she said, “I think you might need help from a great cooker like me!”.

♥ Tell me, what was special about your Valentine’s Day? ♥

 

(I added this post to Pink Pear Bear’s linkup! Click the photo to check out her great mommy blog and find the linkup!)

Pink Pear Bear

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Where Does the Love Go?

IMG_9512Being a stay at home mom is great, and it’s the perfect fit for me. It’s the only job I ever wanted. But as much as I love being there to protect, mold, and guide my kids all day every day, I really dislike being their servant in bondage sometimes…I have a baby who points and grunts (then cries and yells) to get what she wants and a toddler who’s vocal, yet just as demanding and insistent. Well, maybe not QUITE as demanding. My littlest is a pro at getting her message across (to put it nicely).

And the very moment I finally get to collapse into a chair, there they are again, wanting something, needing something. I’m not sure if I need to ‘die to self’ like my old Bible Study teacher used to say, or just grow a little more in patience and love. Which I feel woefully short on every single day of my life.

My girls are so loving, it astounds me…where does the love go as we age? Why do we not greet our friends with hugs and kisses the way toddlers do? (Never mind the fact that it would be really weird and gross.) I could yell at my girls all day long, but they’ll still  want to sit on my lap and smother me with kisses. They don’t hold grudges!

Sometimes I just wish I could be more like my children. And be waited on hand and foot, too. Ha!