I used to think I was mediocre at everything. Remember the movie Napoleon Dynamite? Just like Napoleon, I felt, “I don’t even have any SKILLS!”. Granted, at least I wasn’t quite the dork he was (though my brothers may disagree), but that had no effect on the perception I had of myself.
I never had any desire for a specific career, at least not since my dream of becoming a ballerina fizzled around age 7. I wanted to be a mom, and that’s all I could come up with. I always thought maybe I was simply lazy, and settling for the only thing I had a mild propensity for – housekeeping.
I got married and had a baby. And I still felt mediocre. I had another baby and got worse at my housewife job. With two kids, it became harder to keep up with the house, my appearance, my healthy homemade meals. I was doing what I had always wanted to do and I sucked at it. Maybe I was crazy and it wasn’t for me…why did I want this in the first place, I asked myself? Why would I have not one, but TWO kids? Was I nuts? This was hard work and I obviously wasn’t the greatest at this mothering job. I’m neither patient nor organized. I get lazy and discouraged.
Then I realized…I am not lazy (at least not all the time, ha!). Everyone gets discouraged and everyone has their shortcomings. When I want something, though, I go for it. If I am passionate and determined, I’ll do the research, and I’ll give it my best effort. And just because my house is a mess sometimes, or even most of the time, does not mean I am a mediocre mother. I have a laid back approach to motherhood and life, and that’s cool. Some people are way too uptight and stressed all the time. So what’s better, having a messy house, or being stressed to the max about cleaning every nook and cranny?
And since when is devoting your life to the development of small human beings mediocre? My career of choice may not be glamorous, but my daughters know they are loved. I don’t miss a single minute of their day (but oh boy, some days I wish did, though! Haha!). For now, I am their world, and they are mine.
To say I don’t have “skills” is a gross understatement. I may not be skilled in the way that successful professional career women are, but I bet a lot of them can’t bake a pie or knead a loaf of bread, either. As silly as it may sound, those things really do bring me joy, and I hope that if you have a job in the workplace, it gives you joy, too. We all need each other. I need you, the skilled doctor or nurse, when I’m having babies, or the pediatrician, who provides my girls with a health assessment and care when they’re sick. And maybe you don’t necessarily ‘need’ me, but I have services to give as well… I can offer you my friendship, I can make you a meal (if you like flaxseed, beans and spinach), I can be your sounding board because I just love having an adult conversation!
I realized this past week, I’m not mediocre because I can’t perform brain surgery. I’m not lazy because because I don’t have a “career”. My chosen path is challenging, both mentally and physically. My career is my kids, and in 18 years, it will be over. I’ll need to look for a new job. I’ll experience ’empty nest syndrome’.
But my title will always be “Mother” and my kids will always be loved.
Now it’s your turn-
Do you ever feel like you don’t measure up to your own ideals? Tell me in the comments below!