Laughable Labor Tales

Laughable Labor Tales

Laughable labor tales probably don’t exist in most people’s opinions. Labor is many things… It is painful, sometimes gross, always unpredictable. And there’s a wonderful reward at the end. But I think along the way, labor can have it’s funny moments, too!

Laughable Labor Tales

When I was younger and single, I always hated when women started yakking about their labor experiences. It was boring and I couldn’t participate in the conversation. But now that I have my own labor stories, I fully embrace everyone’s tales! But I also prefer to hear about the sweet moments, the laughable labor tales. I will never enjoy hearing the “How Long was your labor?” battle. One woman says she was in labor for 48 hours, and another still claims to have her beat at 92 hours. Since when was this a competition, ladies??? We were all miserable and in pain, ok? We all lose!!! Lol!

Now that my rant is out of the way, let’s move on. Who of you have ever seen the famous “I Love Lucy” episode where Lucy announces it is time to go to the hospital? Such hilarious chaos isn’t really that far-fetched. When it comes to going into labor, people tend to lose their cool.

This doesn’t describe me at all; how about you? Anyone in your family? Tell me your labor story in the comments below – I’d love to hear!

Today, I am going to share a collection of laughable labor tales I gathered from blogger friends. I will kick off the humor with my own funny labor stories!

Here is MY first labor story : 

With my first child, my water broke at home 3 days early on a Friday night. Just a trickle, not a gush – no big deal. I calmly called the hospital, “I think my water broke; should I come in?”. When they said yes, I announced to hubby that I was going to go take a shower and shave (Duh!). My husband scurried around getting things together and worrying about whether I’d ever finished packing my suitcase (the answer was no), but I was cool as a cucumber. I told him, “It’s a first baby – they always take a long time to come; don’t worry about it! Go make me something to eat.”

We pulled into the hospital parking lot as I was texting a friend to let her know that, “The time has come!”. Hubby went to retrieve our suitcase from the trunk and he locked the darn car with me still in it! He stood outside the car holding our suitcase, looking befuddled.

Next, as it just so happened, the hospital doors we thought we were supposed to use after-hours were locked! I don’t know how many times I’d asked which doors to use and when. I’d asked at the doctor’s office, we took the hospital tour, AND I had someone draw me a map. Yet, the doors were locked. It was truly the one thing I had worried about when it came to labor. Let me tell you, in case you’re concerned, hospitals are pretty safe places. It’s not easy to get in there once they start locking doors. We had to trek all around the giant parking lot until we found someone who would let us in, but not before my pants were soaked with broken waters!

Newborn record of birth

My 2nd Funny Labor Tale! : (Yeah, would you believe I have two? We’re a funny couple, I guess.)

With my second labor, I thought I’d given hubby all sorts of clues that I was having contractions (again, on a Friday evening! What are the chances?). In fact, I’m pretty darn sure I came right out and said, “I think I’m having contractions”. The world will never know the true story. It’s merely my crystal clear memory against his fuzzy recollection.

But despite having contractions, they weren’t very regular. So we got ready for bed. Around midnight, I got up to shower and shave (Notice another trend?). I stepped out of the shower and snapped at my slumbering husband, “Are we going to the hospital or not?!?”. He was absolutely oblivious. In disbelief, I exclaimed, “Well, why do you think I got out of bed to take a shower??” as if that explained it all. Hahaha, oh my poor, poor hubby. After this bit of drama, the hospital sent us home 4 hours later. Whereupon my water immediately broke in bed!

Back at the hospital, hubby had the nerve to laugh as I kept nodding off during my epidural, due to the sleeping pill they’d given me on our first visit when they were so sure I wasn’t in active labor. But who can sleep through contractions?? My eyes would close and my head would droop, but then I’d have a contraction and my head would pop right back up! I’m sure I did look hilarious…

Laughable Labor Tales - hubby sleeps while wife contracts

Both stories I’ve related were definitely more funny than stressful! (Except for the hospital sending me home when I was most definitely in labor.)

I’m not sure if the following women would have been content with boring stories, but they definitely had some funny circumstances surrounding their labor and births. Check out their stories below! (I can relate to the first one! Haha!)

Labor Tales - 2nd child

Nikki from Healing Mama RemediesMy water broke at 3am. I shook my husband and said, “Honey, my water broke!”. He replied, “Okay”, so I thought he knew that it was time to go to the hospital. I started getting my stuff ready and still didn’t hear him get up! By the time everything was packed, he was still asleep! So I woke him again, saying, “My water broke; we have to go to the hospital!”. Later, he told me he heard me say, “I THINK my water broke”, so he didn’t see the need in getting up if I wasn’t sure. 😀

Hannah from Sunshine and Spoons – When I was in labor with my first, my brother-in-law called to see how things were going. I talked to him for a few minutes while stopping periodically to get through a contraction until a really bad one hit and I literally threw the phone at my husband because I was done talking. It wasn’t until later that I learned my brother-in-law had me on speaker phone at a church gathering (our small, family-like church) so everyone could get an update!

Another funny thing happened when I gave birth to my 3rd baby. We had two ultrasounds that predicted a boy, so when SHE was born, it was the shock of our lives! I seriously thought the doctor was joking until I saw her myself. When the nurse laid her on me, the first thing my baby girl did was pee on me, which I think was payback for calling her a boy for 4 months, lol!

Daisy from Fertile Brains – When my water broke, I was busy filling up my annual self-assessment (performance review) for work (It was 6:00 am and 9:00 am was the deadline). I actually called up my gyn and asked, “Can the baby wait for some more time?” LOL! I am not sure if it is funny or pathetic!

Bree from Family As we Go – The only thing funny to me was right when I pushed my baby out (and I didn’t know the sex). The midwife said, “Here’s your girl!” and then I looked down laughing, “No way, he’s got a little pee-pee! … it was midnight, so I’m sure she was exhausted!

Tabitha from Love My Mom Life : My family was stressing me out so much during the transition phase, that the staff technically kicked them out. My father-in-law was so nervous that he kept peeking through the waiting area doors at the nurses. I was continually reminding my husband to quit hitting my bed with his foot during labor. He was pulling my iv every time! I also had a nurse tell me no way I needed to push because I was checked almost an hour before and I was only at 3cm then. She was really surprised when she checked and I was at 9!

Suzanne from Made Perfectly Imperfect – I was in horrible labor and my husband hadn’t had anything to eat. We stashed blow pops in our hospital bag, so he decided he would suck on one. He was trying to open the bag while I was having a particularly bad contraction. All of a sudden, the bag exploded, sending blow pops everywhere! One hit the doctor in the head and one landed right between my legs as if it were a treat waiting for the baby’s arrival. Everyone, including me, busted out laughing.
newborn
I hope you’ve enjoyed all these labor tales whether you’re awaiting your first baby or aren’t having any more. Labor is painful and scary, but it can also be funny! Enjoy the experience if you can!
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Laughable Labor Tales

don't call me supermom

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