My observations on what being a mother means…
Being a mother means….
You forget what personal space is.
You eat cookies in the closet because you don’t want to share.
Sometimes the most unattainable dream is simply having 5 minutes of pure, blessed silence.
And if you ever get those 5 minutes of silence, you’ll rue them when you see what havoc the kids have wreaked in your absence .
You just might discover that you know every word to the most popular Disney songs….and you love belting them out!
The days of listening to grownup music are fading fast…because you either don’t want to explain the adult lyrics, or the demands for Disney songs (see above) are too overpowering.
A picture is worth a thousand words. Literally. Read your talkative four year old a book and you’ll find you can barely get past the first illustration…”What’s that? What’s he doing? Why is she wearing that? Where are they going? Is that a boy or a girl? Why are they carrying a backpack?”….
Dinner is quite possibly the most stressful time of your day – from making it, to eating it, and to cleaning up the mess afterwards.
You forget what your living room floor looks like.
You wear the same clothes until they get snot or poop on them to cut down on laundry.
Shopping becomes an Olympic Sport, involving intensive training (be quiet, don’t touch, stay with me, etc.), hard work, sweat, tears, and moving as rapidly as you can to get down the aisle and out of the darn store.
Before kids, you were young and carefree. Now you’re old and curmudgeonly, and your favorite word is, “No.”
Being a mother also means….
You don’t sleep in any more, even on weekends, but oh those early morning snuggles!
So many kisses and hugs. So. Many.
As frustrating as the plethora of toys in your house are….you can’t resist buying new ones you’re certain your kids will love and cherish forever (or at least a day or two).
Any time you need an excuse to stay home, you’ve got it, baby! Same goes for anytime you need an excuse to get OUT.
You’ll take personally the compliments directed at your little one…What an adorable little girl? Why thank you, I’m her personal stylist!
You’ll gain the utmost joy and pride in another person’s accomplishments…rolling over, taking steps, and peeing in the potty never seemed so miraculous and brilliant until now.
You’ll become a pro at terrorizing young children that are mean to your kids. Don’t worry about it; they have it coming to them.
Both rational and irrational fears will abound. No matter how rational you were before you had kids.
You may begin to wonder if you have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. Or need anger management classes.
Your constant companions are surefire conversation starters. Great for making new friends!
For the next few years, you will live with the cutest little comedians you ever did see. Daily shows, free admission, just sweat and tears to get in!
You will hear the words, “I ‘lub’ you so much” and know that it is the truest, sweetest, purest form of love ever bestowed upon any human.