The Mediocre Mother

Feeling like a mediocre mother

mediocre mother

I used to think I was mediocre at everything. Remember the movie Napoleon Dynamite? Just like Napoleon, I felt, “I don’t even have any SKILLS!”. Granted, at least I wasn’t quite the dork he was (though my brothers may disagree), but that had no effect on the perception I had of myself.

the mediocre mother

I never had any desire for a specific career, at least not since my dream of becoming a ballerina fizzled around age 7. I wanted to be a mom, and that’s all I could come up with. I always thought maybe I was simply lazy, and settling for the only thing I had a mild propensity for – housekeeping.

I got married and had a baby. And I still felt mediocre. I had another baby and got worse at my housewife job. With two kids, it became harder to keep up with the house, my appearance, my healthy homemade meals. I was doing what I had always wanted to do and I sucked at it. Maybe I was crazy and it wasn’t for me…why did I want this in the first place, I asked myself? Why would I have not one, but TWO kids? Was I nuts? This was hard work and I obviously wasn’t the greatest at this mothering job. I’m neither patient nor organized. I get lazy and discouraged.

Then I realized…I am not lazy (at least not all the time, ha!). Everyone gets discouraged and everyone has their shortcomings. When I want something, though, I go for it. If I am passionate and determined, I’ll do the research, and I’ll give it my best effort. And just because my house is a mess sometimes, or even most of the time, does not mean I am a mediocre mother. I have a laid back approach to motherhood and life, and that’s cool. Some people are way too uptight and stressed all the time. So what’s better, having a messy house, or being stressed to the max about cleaning every nook and cranny?

And since when is devoting your life to the development of small human beings mediocre? My career of choice may not be glamorous, but my daughters know they are loved. I don’t miss a single minute of their day (but oh boy, some days I wish did, though! Haha!). For now, I am their world, and they are mine.

To say I don’t have “skills” is a gross understatement. I may not be skilled in the way that successful professional career women are, but I bet a lot of them can’t bake a pie or knead a loaf of bread, either. As silly as it may sound, those things really do bring me joy, and I hope that if you have a job in the workplace, it gives you joy, too. We all need each other. I need you, the skilled doctor or nurse, when I’m having babies, or the pediatrician, who provides my girls with a health assessment and care when they’re sick. And maybe you don’t necessarily ‘need’ me, but I have services to give as well… I can offer you my friendship, I can make you a meal (if you like flaxseed, beans and spinach), I can be your sounding board because I just love having an adult conversation!

I realized this past week, I’m not mediocre because I can’t perform brain surgery. I’m not lazy because because I don’t have a “career”. My chosen path is challenging, both mentally and physically. My career is my kids, and in 18 years, it will be over. I’ll need to look for a new job. I’ll experience ’empty nest syndrome’.

But my title will always be “Mother” and my kids will always be loved.

dark-pink-heart-hi

Now it’s your turn-

Do you ever feel like you don’t measure up to your own ideals? Tell me in the comments below!

don't call me supermom

15 comments

  1. Mediocre? Lazy?!? I go to work because I CAN’T Do what you do! I hate cleaning, I’m not a great cook, and if I’m home all the time, I become a horrible, bitchy, depressed mother (I know. I tried it once)! There are many days I wish I could be the SAHM who spends every moment on my kids, teaching them to be amazing, productive people. I’m terrible at it. Your job is not easy, and I don’t think it’s possible to be lazy or mediocre when devoting your life to others.

    1. Haha! See, there it is! I would hate your job and you would hate mine! Lol! We all have our own strengths and weaknesses! 🙂 Some days I think all I am teaching my kids is how to bark orders. And I know you appreciate your kids much more when you are away from them for a period of time. That is why I cherish date nights, my only reprieve.

  2. Ok I love love love you. Not only because Napoleon was featured (ok total guilty pleasure movie I love) but because I can SO relate to this. Trying to be a mom, wife, maid, blogger, friend sometimes stretches me so thing. And I feel like I never excel at one thing. But when I look at my son and he is happy, or he learned what a cow says just because I ask him and mimic the sound every evening while he’s in the bath, it really makes me realize what’s important, and that I AM good enough!

    1. Thanks so much, Chrissa! Your comment made me smile! To really excel at any one thing, we should devote our full focus on it. But I feel like that’s virtually impossible when you’re a mother! I’m so happy you resonated with my post- that’s why I blog…to show other moms that we almost all go through the same kind of stuff! We can all admit it and support each other rather than tearing each other down. 🙂

  3. I can so relate to this! I graduated with my B.A. in Special Ed in 2013 and got offered a teaching job. I’ve had the same feelings of judgement and self worth. Why would I choose to turn down that career in favor of being a stay at home mom. But, I can’t say I regret it. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do and I love seeing my kiddos grow and learn. Good for you and I can tell you from experience it is hard work that deserves more credit!

    1. You could either get paid to teach other people’s kids or teach your own for free….haha! Staying home with your kids can be very rewarding, and at least I know they are safe every minute I am with them.

  4. Have you ever heard the C.S. Lewis quote that is “The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only – and that is to support the ultimate career.” When you consider it, not only is it profound, but it is very true! What you do matters so much!

    No two households will ever look alike, and no other mom could run your home the way that you do. How boring would life be if we did things the same way?

    You rock, Mama. 🙂

  5. It is so hard to keep up with everything! I think the only reason I enjoy being at home, is because I can let myself forget about the dishes/laundry/whatever and just play with my son. I know that’s really hard for some people, and they would probably judge my house if they saw it, but it works for me!

  6. Love this – but… I have a career outside the home, and am certainly still a Mother. I also make most of our dinners and all of my daughter’s baby food – because I love to cook. Not all career women sacrifice the domestic arts as well. Our house is always generally neat – my husband is my teammate and we tag team the chores and if we both have hard days we have a cereal night. Real life!

    1. I didn’t say working mothers sacrifice domesticity…I was merely trying to point out that I have a strength that may be different from moms who don’t stay at home. Nobody fits into a mold. 🙂 I am home all day and my house is still a mess!!

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